Perfectly Imperfect: Avoiding Perfectionism in Music Therapy
by Lauren Camp, Music Therapy Intern
Many musicians experience the burden of perfectionism at some point in their musical lives. As musicians, we commonly place high expectations on ourselves to perform at a certain level. Even more so, we find ourselves in a vulnerable position anytime we share our art with the world, where we expose ourselves to the possibilities of harsh criticism or comparison. At the university level, research has found that music students face increasingly high levels of perfectionism (Herrera et al., 2021). Students may find themselves spending hours “perfecting” their playing technique on their primary instrument, or they may dedicate great time and effort to crafting the “perfect” composition for music theory. In university music therapy programs, how does perfectionism impact the music therapy student, and how does perfectionism impact their work as a future clinician? While I cannot speak for other music therapy students, I can share the lessons I have learned as a recovering perfectionist and offer practical advice for other music therapy students and interns battling perfectionism.
Go beyond your comfort zone and try new things.
A supervisor once described internship to me as an uncomfortable time in a music therapist’s professional development. Currently in month 6 of my internship, my supervisor’s words ring truer than ever. But while internship has been uncomfortable at times, it has simultaneously been a profound season of growth. As my supervisors continue to push me out of my comfort zone, I continue to learn and grow as both a musician and clinician. So whenever your supervisors encourage you to try something new, just go for it! In the wise words of another supervisor, you will not spontaneously combust!
Acknowledge and learn from your mistakes. And then, move on!
I absolutely HATE making mistakes. But guess what… I have made mistakes, and I’ll probably make more before I complete my internship. I might even make a mistake that causes harm to a client. While making mistakes is never ideal, especially in situations where the mistake leads to unintentionally harming a client, one’s personal response to the mistake often has greater implications than the mistake itself. So now, whenever I make a mistake, I acknowledge it, especially to my clients. Taking responsibility for our mistakes humanizes us and may even lead to a stronger therapeutic relationship. Afterwards, I learn from it and allow the experience to inform me and shape my decisions moving forward. And then, I move on!
Have a growth mindset. Be coachable.
As a perfectionist, I sometimes fall into the trap of thinking that “my way” is the “best way.” More often than not, this is NOT the case. So whenever supervisors or peers offer suggestions, listen to them! Remain open-minded enough to take a different approach, even if it’s not one you would initially consider.
Celebrate the successes!
While internship is full of challenges and times of discomfort, it’s also full of successes and breakthrough moments! For me, it’s fun to look back at the feedback I received in month 1 and compare it to now. This alone reminds me of how far I’ve come since the beginning of internship! So no matter how big or small the successes, take ownership of the work you do, and be proud of the growth you’ve experienced along the way!
Have grace for yourself AND others.
So, here’s a newsflash: NOBODY’S PERFECT. Hannah Montana literally sang a song about it. So in those moments of self-doubt or whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed, give yourself grace. Whenever someone around you makes a mistake, give them grace, too. In Hannah Montana’s wise words, “everybody makes mistakes,” and “everybody has those days.”
These are just some of the lessons I’ve learned on my personal perfectionist journey while at internship, and I look forward to continuously letting go of my perfectionist tendencies as I prepare to enter the field as a new professional. To close out, here’s a few friendly reminders to you all, and especially to myself. It’s OK to not be perfect. It’s OK to make mistakes. It’s OK to try something new, and potentially fall on your face in the process. Let the imperfections inform your practice, motivate you, and spark ingenuity within you. Author Jhumpa Lahiri writes, “Imperfection inspires invention, imagination, creativity. It stimulates. The more I feel imperfect, the more I feel alive.”
References
Cyrus, M. (2007). Nobody’s perfect [Song]. On Hannah Montana 2 [Album]. Walt Disney Records.
Herrera, D., Matos, L., Gargurevich, R., Lira, B., & Valenzuela, R. (2021). Context matters: Teaching styles and basic psychological needs predicting flourishing and perfectionism in university music students. Frontiers in Psychology, 12, 623312. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.623312
Lahiri, J. (2017). In other words. Bloomsbury Publishing.
What are your tips for avoiding perfectionism? Leave your ideas in the comments!
