Let’s Talk – Reflecting on Pandemic Life
by Annika Labus, MTI
With the end of 2020 and the anniversary of the COVID-19 outbreak upon on us, I would just like to say it has been a WILD year. It was not what I expected out of it at all. At the start of the year I moved from Huntsville,TX all the way back home to the Rio Grande Valley. I was to start my internship in July and move all the way up to Fort Worth. I had a whole semester off and was going to spend it with my friends since I never saw them during the school year.
But then COVID-19 happened and everything paused. I started staying inside my house by February and the only people I ever talked to face to face were my family. Everyone else was through text messages, social media and Animal Crossing; basically just typing online.
I ended up not moving and stayed home. I had spent the last 3 years of my life interacting with many different people at school and at work. So going back home and only being able to see my family was a weird transition. By the time my internship started, I felt like I lost a lot of my social skills. I would get really nervous talking to people even if it was through zoom because it had been such a long time since I had any sort of verbal interaction.
So I wrote this song to express my feelings about the situation. A lot of things would go through my mind before I spoke and I can’t just erase what I say if I’m talking to someone. I admit, it took a while to get used to the situation this year has brought us. But writing this song helped me realize my feelings about this year and I found myself adjusting to this new normal.
Let’s Talk – Annika Labus
It’s all in my head and it makes sense to me
I say it out loud this is not how it’s supposed to be
How do I go and simplify my thoughts
I know it’s a mess I know that it’s a lot
I said some things without thinking first
The conversations over and now I have a word burst
To stay quiet or just smile through
I get awkward and I don’t know what to do
But I’ll say what I want to say right now
My minds going about a 100 miles a minute
There are so many things I don’t know how to fit it
I can talk about the topics or stuff about my day
But once it’s out my mouth I don’t know what to say
That’s why I journal to talk to myself
But it’s different when it comes to somebody else
And now we have technology and I am stuck in quarantine
It’s weird to talk face to face it’s not like I can press erase
Is it nerves or lack of confidence
Maybe both but I think I do okay I guess
I’m bad at thinking on the spot
I gotta make sure that I write down all my thoughts
I stay quiet to listen through and through
I think to myself on what I’m supposed to do
Then it’s me and I don’t know how to speak
I try to act cute and funny and that’s my coping technique
I cannot hide behind a screen
It’s not like I have time to type down what I think
I have to speak in the now
I can speak but will there be a sound?